Quarter Life Crisis

Everything in my life seemed upside down. My business and working life was no longer exciting me, working out seemed mundane, and hanging out with friends felt like a chore.

I started asking myself, do I really have the success that I thought I would have? Am I actually creating an impact on the world? Am I happy? What’s the point of all this anyway?

I had a phases of my quarter life crisis;

A phase when I feel trapped by my life choices, like my job, relationship, or both. I'm living on “autopilot" and anxiety nights.

A phase after I get a sense of “I’ve got to get out of this” and feel a growing sense that change is possible if I just take a leap.

And hit the phase I quit my job at that time because I don't want my degree defines me what I have to be, end the relationship, or break the commitment that’s making me feel trapped. Then I detach and enter a “time out” period where try to rediscover who I am and who I want to be.

The monster I fought had many heads: I questioned whether I was pursuing the right career, if I will be happy with someone that I've been spent time with for years, or if I enjoy with new life that far from closest friend or family.

But then I fully embraced the sentiment of entering my quarter life crisis. I made lot of list: Dye my hair, regularly work out, go for long road trip and driving by myself, or even trekking hundreds kilometers in Annapurna Circuit Trek, have a job that I love and I can develope my skill through it. Yea, like "I do what I love".

I made promise to myself to put my goals and values, above any desire to be accepted or feel "attractive".

And I got all of that, and so much more.

A beautifully dysfuctional ever-connected family, a hear beat that felt in every single solo step I had, and a renewed sense of unwavering confidence.

Confidence in my mind, confidence in my body, and confidence in my will to stand up and be heard.

Now, It's seem a time to begin rebuilding my life slowly but surely. Try to develop new commitments that are more in line with my interests and aspirations.

A whole new set of challenge await. My goal won't be clear or tangible as getting miles in my step on getting somewhere out of nowhere. My small wins won't be as simple as only needing to dig one cat hole in a second. Just DONT COMPARE SOMEONE'S PATH with anyone else's. Everyone has their on life with consequences.

the quarter-life crisis doesn’t have to be something to fear. One person shows me that it can actually be the thing I need to experience to take my life to the next level.

2 months before my 26th birthday, I am started to realized my life purpose doesn’t yell at me, it whispers. MacNaughton says. “You need to be listening for what’s whispering to you and what tingles the heart.” It can be tricky to recognize my own voice after I’ve spent most of your life listening to others. But I learnt to trust and belive in myself and capabilities. Be true, be real, and be myself is something that I have to keep on my long journey.

I'm terrified but I'm also so freaking excited to face my next level of surviving life ahead!!!

Coddiwomple

While exploring beautiful places and meeting interesting new people, we are bound to fall in love everyday when traveling. We fall in love with the place, foods, culture, weather, beaches, mountains, bars, and most importantly, with each other.

Mt. Wellington, Hobart, Tasmania

Do you ever feel that actually you go nowhere and at some point there is a tiring phase and you wanna go back home really really soon. Or you are on your way somewhere nowhere with no clue and you even don't know clearly why you go there but unexpectedly when you were there with a stranger and you feel like its a place that you can call home?

I am a solo traveler that looking for a way back home, ya my truly home that I can't live without. A place to lean on, a place where my comfort place is there, a place that I never be bored of.

I am travel to anywhere that might be doesn't makes any sense to anyone. But I am happy that I took a chance to try, to walk away from a place that I thought a comfort zone.

I went to Australia to escape, to find something new, to take a challenge leaving far from home alone (again) after 6 months can't travel because shit happen while I'm at Annapurna. I never expect that this trip will leave a deep marks on my heart. I met beautiful peoples on my trip, I've seen amazing landscape, I enjoyed delicious meal and drinks. Yes, and also I left my piece of heart and feeling somewhere there.

I had beautiful experience while I'm in Aussie, like an experience that I never had before, an experience that never be expected, and experience that change my life and way of thinking. 

Can you imagine, you left your origin place with cloud on your head, and you back home with a sunshine on your eyes and clear sky on your head. Positive vibes is in whole of your body.

Yes! That's what I feel! It is a crazy feeling like I wonder what it can be happen to myself, it is kind of magic that not explainable.

The more you travel, the more you see it isn't more things you need. Instead, you need peoples and their stories inside your stories (to be) on your long and exhausting journey. We might need an airplanes, ship, or train but we also need grace, that reminds you that you are has a freedom to exploring and you will never ever out of place.

One of the best things about traveling is the people you meet. It is always be reason why we have to go back and meet each other again. Its not only meet, the possibilities of having mood of changing your life feels so real. I met so many people while I'm travel, they made my day everyday. I am blessed to met them on my trip. So let me show you who they are;

Yuke is my high school lovely chick that out of sudden contact me directly when she knew that I'm touch down Sydney. We had nice dinner with Sydney hipster vibes. It was mixed feeling when I met her. Simply because I really have no idea what to do in Sydney and humbly she text me and ask to hang out. She always be kind of lovely girl that I knew.

I met him in the middle of confusion Sydney life, He is one of dude that telling me an Italian shitty jokes while we chillin on a park in the middle of his break working time. He cooked such  grilled salmon with nice salad which is my favorite. Daniel is a truly Italian chef that rockin my Sydney culinary trip. Another nice thing is on my last day in Sydney we went to fish market because I'm just craving for fish and chips like crazy! And he just laughing and teasing me because I amazed with BIG BIG BIG BIG anything there.

AAAHHH!! TASSIE LIFE! It is a destiny! I love my Tassie trip like crazy! I met these crazy travel mates in the middle of nowhere. Yenti is a unbelievable Indonesian woman who amazingly has a nice stories and balanced my travel crazy life, she is my navigator while doing a road trip in Tassie, I met her on a Indonesian traveler community.

 

Ron! A Hongkong dude that terror me with his text on couchsurfing because he want to join my road trip in Tassie, HAHAHAHA. Well, eventually I pick him up at Devenport and I will never regret to let him in on my road trip because he is kind of travel mate who love to read and doing research, he tell me a treasure place to visit that suprisingly amazing! Who need google when we have Ron? HAHAHAHAHAH

   

AAAAHHH!!! How I start with these dudes? A man exactly behind me! I call him monkey with a nice taste of Italian jokes and of course his pasta! (oh! God! I have lot of Italian dudes in my life! HELP!) Emanuelle is annoying guy that made my Tassie life become so much interesting, he is kind of annoying yet caring in a same time, imagine I have to washed my car in the middle of the night because I have no time and I have to leave Tassie on the next day early morning, and guess who washed it??? Yes! Italian Monkey did it for me! I will never forget a moment when I put a coins to the wash machines and scream to him "Dude! Times gonna up!!!" and he just reply me like "Put another  dollar! Hurry!!!!" LOL! Thats such a funny yet touching moment.

And the other funny Germany dude behind is Dawid A.K.A David (he enjoyed to be called as David LOL). He is kind of an innocent guy who exploring a new life and world out of nowhere. He is plain paper with a steady ear to listen. 

Well, There is a time when we hungry AF and we looking for a food and after 5 hours driving to Launceston we end up with a burgers in bloody McDonalds! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA we become zombie after they had dead animals Tasmania burger LOL! It is a funniest moment in the middle of cold Tassie.

Landed at Melbourne with a tiring body and Tassie mood. Jaime pick me up and let me rest at his apartment and guess what? I JUST KNOW THAT KENDID and TAMI (my senior while in collague) are his friend!!! DAFUQ! Such a small world! Ah ya! Jaime was studied in Indonesia for a year so that was nice feeling when someone speak Indonesian after I had to spoke with a Merino language in Tassie. Kendid is a person who never change since the first time I knew him on my first day of school 8 years ago. His manners and positive vibes always bring me joy and confidence, I still remember when I applied for scholarship abroad, he is the only senior who told me "Lysa! Its piece of cake for you! You can do it!" And when I got that scholarship he is the first one that knew I got it (instead of my parents LOL). Well, Me and Kendid has a nice time in Melb, and again he always encourage me to do a happy life, and he tried to bring me stay and working in Melbourne LOL. Tami? A cool girl that never change, like always and ever.

Last but not least, My last day in Melbourne was well spent with the most beautiful people around me. Elliott is the only American guy who bring me joy and happiness, my favorite peanut butter in my Aussie trip, a person who inspire me A LOT to do good things! I don't even believe there is a human like him exist in this cruel world, such an amazing human being, humble, talented, tender, and good listener. He always be patient to listen my tired statement, when I said "Ah... I don't know how to explain" and he always said "Thats OK....". His energy is magic! He can bring a positive vibes and change your mind and life instantly just simply shared his life experiences and be GENUINE! Anyone who met him in their life is lucky!

Mars, a lovely young chick Italian-African raised in Germany that I've met at Elliott's house. I still remember when I knocked Elliot's house to get in and she opened the door for me because Elliott just away from home for martial art. I still remember how cute she is and her nice taste of music that I can enjoy it in my whole life for sure.

I am beyond happy to met them in my life. I still can't belive that my 2 weeks trip in aussie with their stories instantly add new way of life or at least a fresh point of view.
I'm rarely post a selfie picture. But now, for the first time in forever I post this massive group selfie(s) bcos this trip is amazing and memoriable. A trip that open my heart and eyes widely that life is extremely beautiful when u dare yourself to playing outside. I'm blessed to have them in my life to painted my plain sketch book bcome so colorful.

We fall in love with each experience that we've got while traveling. We take a picture not only to show the world that we've been there, done that, or just checked a bucket list. Sometimes we take a picture to remind how blessed we are because we have those amazing experience.

I am a sucker of good and beautiful stories- and what makes a better story than falling in love in an exotic foreign place or simply enjoyed glass (or more) of wine in a comfortable and chill place to stay? 

Spent Leave Days in Bandung

It has been more than 6 months of 2019.

Ups and downs, fast and slow, move and stop, right and wrong.

I asked myself what actually I am running for? Why planning is matter? Why everything must be exactly the same as I planned? Why I expect something? Why I did same mistake? Why I struggle for something that MAYBE isn't worth it?

This month is one of craziest month during this year, extremely crazy. Why? First, my working life was really tight and so many things to do. Second, my personal life was disappointing and fucked up. Don't ask me why because it is pretty complicated. LOL.

Because of that I planned to go somewhere to escape, yes! Take a break and breathe.

I planned to go to Philliphines to swim with a whale shark and eat some crazy food there.

I also planned to go to Vietnam to sleep on the boat in the middle of Ha long bay.

Lastly, I planned to go to Belitung just wanna see one of the biggest stand up paddle competition in Indonesia.

Well, everything is messed up! And I end up going home with my 6 days leave. Disappointing? I thought so, but I was wrong.

So, I decide to go to Bandung and join my teammates to Pocari Sweat Bandung Marathon.

I am really happy and feeling energized, because I felt my teammates transfer a positive vibes and a new sprits to me.

We closed the day wih a nice coffee latte and Tahu goreng ;)

And after that, I spent my another days to enjoy Bandung in my old way. Woke up super early morning to catch the sunrise, feel the summer breeze, drink an ice coffee latte, and enjoy my childhood memories.

I took some pictures that always be my favorite view, when the street is no traffic, people walking humbly and having a low key conversation while sipped their hot sweetened coffee, everyone breathes with a clean oxigen, and we enjoy when the crazy day is not started yet.

We back to the street! I still love to hear the sound of analog shutter sound.

Jalan Braga, early morning, 5:40 AM

An iconic street artist in Bandung.

It is nice to see everyone can walk almost everywhere.

Conventional news paper? Why now? Its always convenience for your eyes, no?

Jalan Asia Afrika with no cars or motorbikes at all!

Savoy homan Hotel with a shy sunrise.

Mesjid Agung Bandung with a clear sky.

  

Bandung morning weather is always great. I know why a lot of people love this city.

After 3 hours sightseeing in a city, I had a nice coffee morning in a hidden coffee place which is pretty nice and good to chill and breath nicely in a middle of the city.
It is SPADAA KOFFIE , the location is in the middle of the city, just click it to make it easier anyway ;)
I enjoyed the place, is a vintage yet warm tone with a summer breeze everywhere. Love it!

Confident enough? :p

As I told you, I was wrong if I thought that my leave days will be shit. I would say this is pretty amazing. I'm feeling good, feeling positive while I was surounded by negativities lately, feeling fresh to breathe with nice Bandung weather.

Now I realized that basically happiness is not come from the other, it comes from your gut and mind.
If you found someone that makes you happy even more, so that means you are lucky ;)
But my advice, stay away from a bad influence, stay away from negativities, it will kills you, kill your personality, kill your body and soul. Be good! Be ok!
The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.

This current situation is giving me an opportunity to re-evaluate what I want and I need.
I am grateful with everything that happened to me.

Hi Bandung! Terimakasih ya!

A Portrait of Happiness

Its a portrait

Portrait of happiness.

Portrait of smile.

Portrait of freedom.

Everyone always find a happiness without knowing what hapiness is, whitout knowing what can make you smile maybe can make you happy.

Everyone always guessing.

Guessing something unsure and they never know before.

Everyone always finding, finding a happiness.

And in the middle of finding they did not found a happiness. They lost. But realized that they know nothing.

Solo Trekking Ke Annapuna Circuit? Kenapa Engga?

KE ANNAPURNA CIRCUIT SENDIRIAN? DASAR GILA!!

Gitulah kurang lebih omongan2 orang terdekat saya saat itu.

Setelah galau nanya sana sini untuk pergi ke Annapurna Circuit, dan ajak sana sini, udah posting di trekkingpartners.com dengan asumsi ada yang bisa barengan. Tapi sayangnya sampe hari H ga ada respon positif.

So, karna saya bandel, nekat, dan otaknya agak gesrek akhirnya tangal 27 Maret kemarin saya berangkat ke Annapurna Circuit SENDIRIAN, Iya! Sendirian.

Dengan total cuti 14 hari saya agak degdegan untuk pergi ke annapurna circuit karena dari semua blog dan itinerary travel rata- rata perjalanan mereka 14 hari HANYA TREKKING, bahkan kalo full trekking 21 hari cooy!!!!!

Cuma sekali lagi karena otak saya gesrek (dan lucky bastard) saya bisa trekking ke AC plus jalan- jalan di Phokara+ Kathmandu dalam waktu 14 hari termasuk perjalanan, Ga pake guide ataupun porter. Pokonya saya nguli deh.

Kenapa? Mikinya karena kata officer NTB cenderung aman biarpun sendiri, guide/porter is not mandatory. Jadi ya udah, kan judulnya backpacking jadi ya uangnya dialokasikan untuk yang lain a.k.a frugal a.k.a ngirit hahahaha.

So, Gimana itinerarynya?

26 Mar (CGK-KTM)

Saya kerja dulu dan flight jam 8 malem, transit di KL.

27 Mar: KTM- Besisahar (By Van/ Bus)

Tiba pagi hari, langsung ke Nepal Tourism Board pake taxi (Ih kok anak backpacker pake taxi sih? Case kali ini saya nyari cepet dan taxi dari airport ke NTB sama kaya saya naik gojek pulang peri rumah-kantor, yang artinya MURCEEEE, so why not? oh ya! Saya nembak taxi agak depanan airport kena 400NPR)

Sampe di NTB langsung registrasi, biayanya 2000NPR untuk TIMS, dan 3000NPR untuk Annapurna Circuit TP). Disini saya banyak menemukan ilham yang bisa mempercepat perjalanan saya. LUCKILY ternyata ada VAN yang langsung ke BESISAHAR sampai jam 2 sore (terkahir) tarifnya 600NRP lama perjalanan 6-7 jam. Disini saya seneng banget karena waktu saya kesimpen 1 hari.

Pukul 9 malam saya tiba di besisahar langsung check in guest house seharga 300 NPR!!! WC dalem, kasunya muat ber-3 dan free wifi! Parah murahnya.

28 Mar: Besisahar- Chame (by JEEP)

Ini lah yang motong waktu perjalan banyak banget. Saya naik jeep sampe Chame, tarifnya 2000NPR, lama perjalanan 5-6 jam. Di jeep saya ketemu solo female traveler dari Cina dengan porternya, again, Im so LUCKY ni bocah anaknya open minded banget, baiiikkkkk bgt dan dia ngmong "kita bisa bareng kok". So saya sharing kamar sama doi sampe trekking beres! Mayan kan, jadi ga sendiri banget dan costnya bisa sharing.

Sampe chame saya istirahat siap- siap karena besok udah mulai trekking. Disini saya nginep di tea house dengan tarif 250NPR aja (500 NPR dibagi 2) . Kamarnya bagus dan nyaman!

 Baru di bahwah aja udah amazed!!!

29 Mar: Chame- Lower Pisang (TREKKING)

Annapurna bukan perkara seberapa panjang kaki kamu, seberapa besar paru- paru kamu, atau seberapa kenceng dengkul kamu ngacir. Take it slow baby, take it slow. Jadi jalannya ga usah kebut- kebut, nikmatin aja, karena sepanjang jalan kamu akan cuma bisa bilang "WOW! DAMN! AWESOME" dan kawan kawannya.

30-31 Mar: Lower Pisang- Manang (ACLIMATIZATION DAY 3500mdpl)

Disini kita 2 hari stay, karena harus ada aklimatisasi biar ga kaget dan AMS, disini saya bener- bener makan banyak karbo sama garlic soup dan minum 4 liter air putih dan teh jahe tiap makan. Kenapa? Saya ga mau AMS! Amit- amit. Saya ga mau di rescue pake heli hahahah.

Nah daripada bego di tea house, besok paginya saya jalan- jalan ke gangnapuna lake. Ga jauh kok cuma 15- 20 menit jalan.

1 April: Manang- Yak Kharka (TREKKING)

Perjalanan makin berat tapi pemandangannya sakit!!! Bagus banget! Dan untuk prtama kalinya dalam hidup saya merasakan snow fall (dusun ya? bodo amat ah, soalnya tiap winter cuma ngerasain salju di tanah hahaha)

Its such an epic view!!!!

My lovely backpack just perfect match with everthing!!

2 April: Yak Kharka- Thorong Pedhi (TREKKING)
Pejalan smakin berat, dan selama perjalanan cuma ketemu jalan salju dan jembatan doang. Perjalan lumayan berat dan panas terik parah tapi anginnya dingin.

Ini serpha disana, bawaan mereka at least 25kg!!!! Gila!

3 April: Thorong Pedhi- Thorong La Pass (Puncak)- Muktinath (TREKKING)
Kalo biasanya perjalanan dimulai jam 8 pagi, hari ini start jam 4 subuh karena kita akan muncak.
Perjalanannya luar biasa mau mati, suhu -15°C, angin lembut tapi nusuk, jalan salju semua.

Ini trek paling ngeselin! Awalnya excited liat trek salju, lama- lama muak!

Semua umat pada pake crampon, saya? ohhh tentu saja, tidak! karena otak saya gesrek dan saya percaya banget sama sepatu yang saya pake karena sepatu ini memang bisa untuk salju. Berhasil? Tentu saja! Saya ga kecewa sama sepatu saya yang dengan manis tahan dari segala medan.

Ini di HIGHCAMP. Desa terakhir sebelum ke Thorong La Pass, Gila! Ini desa kaya di film- film.

Penuh salju yang tinggi dan bangunannya klasik banget.

I MADE IT BABY!! I MADE IT!

Singkat cerita setelah ingus meler kaya curug cimahi, idung ancur kebakar kaya kulitnya Sir Jorah pas penyakitan. Akhirnya sampe juga di puncak tanpa drama sesek nafas atau AMS. UHUUUUUYYYYYY.!!!!!!!!!!

Sampe puncak saya langsung turun karena udah MUAK SAMA SALJU (untuk pertama kalinya) , langsung menuju muktinath.

4 April; Muktinath- Phokara/ Kathmandu.

Dari sini atur- atur deh mau kemana, saat itu saya menuju phokara, ada bus yang ke phokara, kalo hoki ada bus yang mengarah ke kathmandu. Kalo mau lebih cepet lagi, bisa pergi ke Jompson dari sana naik pesawat ke Phokara, tarifnya US$ 125.

WHAT I WORE:
Don't make your life hard, sweetheart. USE EVERYTHING AS LIGHT AS POSSIBLE OR COMFORTABLE.

1. Backpack: FORCLAZ Trek 900, 60L, beli di Decathlon Alam Sutra. Ini backpack lumayan berat 2,5 kilo tapi rasanya??!!! AMPUUNNN!!! Saya nyaman banget dan ngerasa enteng aja di punggung, ga kalah deh sama osprey aura AG 50. Harganya juga jauh lebih murah!!!
   
   
2. Shoes: FORCLAZ Trek 900. (Beli d decathlon juga) Ini lumayan pricey tapi ini yang buat saya bisa jalan disegala medan dan jadi ga usah beli crampon.
   
   
3. Jacket: Quechua waterproof jacket 10000mm + The north face full down jacket. Kalian butuh yang tahan angin, air, dingin. Those jackets save my life!
   
   
4. Outfit: Baju semuanya long sleeve, bawa long john juga beli di decathlon, harganya murah dan anget (total bawa 7). Celana yang penting QUICK DRY DAN WIND BREAKER, saya beli di decathlon dan uniqlo, bawa legging katun juga buat inner. (total bawa 3).
   
   
5. Sunglasses: ITS MANDATORY!!! Saya pake Quechua polarized category 4. You can use anything asalkan UV protectionnya bagus. U dont want to burn ur eyes, right?

TOTAL EXPENSES selama 14 hari :

• Tiket PP pake malaysian airlines+ nepal airlines: 3,2jt
• Administrasi visa, permit,dll: 1jt
• Transportasi lokal: 1- 1,5 jt
• Akomodasi: 500rb-1jt
• Makan+ jajan : 1,5- 1,7 jt udah enak dan perut bucitreuk. (karena di gunung makanan lebih mahal daipada tempat tinggal, bisa 3 kali lipat dari harga kamar.

See you in another journey, genkkk!! And don't forget to SHOP LOCAL!