I feel amazed to myself. Seeing how my life constantly changes during this pandemic. No! Not only you! I even laughed to myself when I said "I think I've become an introvert now". Like for real!!
Its been 7 months since I can't go anywhere. Staying home wasn't something fun for me. I feel the up and down of life even detail and have so much time to dig more in within. I wonder and talk to myself "Hei Lysa, is it really you? But, Hei! I am enjoying this feeling tho''.
During this pandemic I feel being alone is not that bad, I thought not meet people is gonna bore me until there is a point when I start to meet fake peoples around me, a peoples that most of them are simply bored. When peoples around me are just easy to come and go, but only the genuine one who stay.
Those experiences made me simply aware to value myself and my time even more. I am being very picky with whom I give my time, energy, and effort to. I prefer to reserve my time, intensity and spirit exclusively to those who reflect sincerity. Really, meeting people, especially new people would be a tricky situation for me, because there will be a thought like "Is my time well spent? Are they gonna drown my energy?". I just think if the encounter isn't meaningful or at least fun with an interesting topic especially something that I never knew before, I would prefer to stay home alone. Well, that's really OK for me, even better. I call it self time worthiness.
So what happened to me? To be fair, there is still a great deal of extroverts lurking there within me. Introversion and extroversion aren’t categorical, they are on a continuum. Maybe I’m just visiting the introvert side for a bit? Some theories suggest that introversion tends to express itself more as we age (like wrinkles weren’t enough to worry about). Previously I derived my energy from 'social' activities. And now I derive energy from a day-ful of 'serve' the entire company, but need a Spotify chilling or 3 hours of obsessive reading of a book (that I bought but rarely touched) in order to recharge.
After years of interrupting some people to tell them about my story, I’m much happier listening to theirs and silently judging them (JUST KIDDING!! HAHAHA). Maybe I’m starting to get old. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’m “on'' at work and need to be “off” the rest of the time. Whatever the cause, I’m embracing the current me. And embracing all those creepy quiet introverts I interrupted for the last 27 years. Sorry guys. I get you now.
Again, since I can not go anywhere this time seems a best time to reflect and build strategies to be executed once all start to be normal. Better, than be with someone who doesn't worth my time. 😜
