So there we go! Another month of boredom that drive us being an asshole and cold blood human. Ehmmm!! Chill chill! Thats only me. LOL.
This past two months is the hardest one for me so far. Why? I start to feel so empty, I have no idea if I need a people around me or simply I need to escape to a daily routine this past six months.
For some reason I feel like I don't need people around, I enjoy being alone at room spending much time with my books, strolling around while cycling, watching sunset in a summer hot damn breezy Tangerang. But, on the other hand I miss people, I miss when I tolerate or engage in small talk, but can get very engaged in intimate conversations.
So, Am I lonely or simply get bored?
BACK HOME
I am kind of person who always think that Home is a comfort zone that I will touch as rare as possible. And this time I decide to go back home for straight 10 days, just to finding a balance of life. Give myself time to get the levels right, and give myself time to figure out what I actually need. It takes experimentation to get it right, and it takes listening to my authentic self like I have — perhaps — never listened before. Back home maybe is a point where I can found a balance or flexibility (?).
COMMUTING WITH NATURE AND ITS PEOPLE
I do believe that my body is more connected to the earth than I think. I breathe the air around me. The sun warms me. The elements, weather and environment effect me. I share a primal and spiritual connection with nature. So, why not go into nature to re-energize my soul? Listen to the rippling stream, the wind in the trees, and bird chirping in a forest. Connected with the love one to having a low key convo.
I go to a mountain, away from a hectic city. To escape, engage well with the nature and its people. I am so happy and blessed to be surrounded by people who always happy to see me smile and excited to take a breath in a nature. So here are the stories of how a commute with a nature and its people.
Gravel Road for A 'Road Bike'.
Back home means, old friends meet up. I met Akbar (@en.journal) my junior while we were in high school and ask him to have a riding trip to a green-y place while I'm in Bandung. And at the weekend a day after I arrived home, he text me to join him to have a trip to Gambung. Since I know that he is a gravel cyclist so I just make sure to him that I can pass the gravel safely. And yes, that was kind of journey with Lale and 4 man who always be boys on the saddle. That was the best and gonna be memorable 100K riding with them and definitely Lale which super tough to deal with a gravel road and a 'little' crash on the way back home to Bandung because of motorbike rider who absolutely have no idea how to drive properly in a main road.
Breakfast Hike
I am happy to have her in my life since day one. She is the one who always down to my unrealistic opinion and idea. I am luckiest girl on earth who had an experience to become her daughter. This time I tell her that I will make her a sourdough sandwich for breakfast, but We have to eat it in Jayagiri. That idea just came up from my head when I went to KHAS ROTI SELAI and tried nice food and warm ambiance there. And yes! She's down for the breakfast! Wooohooo!!! So in early morning, I made her a sandwich and drove to Jayagiri, than hike for 6 km. I am so proud of her since she still can survive with the elevation with her 60 years old body! Je t'aime mama! <3
Recovery Ride
After tiring and hurt ride to Gambung, I ask my friend (@fuadhamidan) to have a recovery ride to Puntang. Because I still remember Puntang is one of the nice place to escape since it has a nice rivers and fresh water ever. The road is really nice for Lale and yea of course I did not put Lale in a hard place after his crash. Unfortunately we can't get inside the area because it is closed due to pandemic situation. But, I am being so super excited and curious in a same time with every corner that possibly to be explored. So I jump to the small river with a chill water and NO! I did not rode Lale for sure! I feel so recharge by simply touch the water and wash my face with the spring water.
Stay a Night And Eat a Lot.
Ote is one of most important woman in my life after my mom. She is the one who always pick up my call and answer every single shitty question that I've asked. It was a tiring night and she texted me and asked me to stay overnight. And she told me "I have a lot of food here". Since she is living away from her parents and I said "Damn you! OK! I'm on my way". Ate so much cookies, chocolate, carbs, and sugary thing. Well, yes night well spent with tummy full loaded by unhealthy stuff and had a BATAGOR! for breakfast hahahaha.
A 'Casual' Ride
After a day being a pig by having a batagor for breakfast, so this day I decide to having a casual riding to a chilly place. I text Fuad to go to a chilly place in east Bandung. And yea! He is down for it. But, nope nope! It wasn't a casual riding, it was turned out to damn short yet tiring ride. We were bonked and definitely me because I hold the hurt of my wound in my back leg. Casual ride is not really a casual but we are happy because we had such a nice sunset and summer breeze with an 'akamsi' around the corner of the mountain.
CONTROL AN ENVIRONMENT
While we can’t control the people around us, we can (to an extent) learn how to manage and control the environments in which we find ourselves. The easiest way to do this is by always making sure you are in the environment you need to thrive. This could come down to something as simple as always shutting your office door, or removing yourself from the office entirely — in order to get the quiet you need to focus. Just away from the boredom for a while and BE SANE! You can't force yourself when you realized you are full of toxic and negativity around you. Just escape! Treat yourself to have a better sanity.
THE BLESSED ONE
I do aware that I was being crap during this pandemic. Life is not always easy to live, but the opportunity to do so is a blessing beyond comprehension. Nothing is better than find a thing that makes you feel grateful. Reminding myself of my everyday blessings is a great way to practice gratitude. It helps me remember all the good things in my lives and keep me moving forward. I am the blessed one to having a genuine yet caring people around me. Had a low key convo in short-long low key tiny holiday. Share a laugh, experience, meal, coffee, or even a new knowledge to wake our brain up while having a lunch.
BE GRATEFUL
Happiness is coming from our self not the other one. They can help you, but the vibes must be triggered by you. I am grateful to have a time to recharge my soul in the middle of the emptiness and pressure in a same time.
SPECIAL THANKS TO;
- One and only Mama who always welcome me warmly and feed me with my favorite meals everyday.
- Papa who always wake up to open the door in an early morning to cycling and share a snacks together.
- Akbar, Adit, Bani, and Arab who being such a cool cycling squad on gravel road.
- Fuad, the one who always down for every gabut things and for sure a cycling activities in Tangerang and Bandung.
- Ote who always feed me with carbs and sugar.
- Achop who accompany me explore a coffee shop in Bandung.
- Alif, for his experimental coffee and other beverages. I do enjoy for all caffeine rush that has been made by him.
- Emon who spend an hours to check Lale and share his experience that inspire me to do more cycling and get further.
